Minimum Requirements For My Future Spouse!

God gave me this in 2015 and still holds true!

1. We must have spiritual unity.
We believe the same thing about God. It doesn’t mean we are in total agreement about something just that we believe God and are both growing and have our own one-on-one relationship with him.

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil ? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 NLT

Marriage Magazine released some statics that back up this scripture. 1 in 2.5 marriages end in divorce. When they are spiritual united and practice 3 things 1. Attend church weekly together. 2. Pray together. 3. Read the Bible together the odds change to 1 in 1105.

I know alot of people like to analyze things so analyze that. When God is centered on the relationship or marriage the odds are in your favor.

When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.
Romans 1:12 NLT

We are united in spiritual unity.

We must have life purpose compatibility. This doesn’t mean that we have the same same vision or even the same purpose. It simply means that we have seen our purpose and are in tune with each other concerning it.

Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? 
Amos 3:3 NLT

We are Shaped:
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Ephesians 2:10 NLT

We are Gifted:
God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.
1 Peter 4:10 NLT

He has called us:
And so, dear brothers and sisters who belong to God and are partners with those called to heaven, think carefully about this Jesus whom we declare to be God’s messenger and High Priest. For he was faithful to God, who appointed him, just as Moses served faithfully when he was entrusted with God’s entire house.
Hebrews 3:1-2 NLT

We must have life purpose compatibility. We know God Shaped us, gifted us and called us to glorify him. We have our individual purpose and together we will have our combined purpose.

We must be emotionally healthy! (Not perfect)

Everybody has been, is or is headed for brokeness. Some more than others. A recent study cited that 80% of marriages that end in divorce or separation end because one or both are emotionally un-healthy. There are alot of contributing factors however there are some Biblical Red Flags that we should watch out for.

1. Whoever I marry must have no uncontrolled anger. Yes anger in an emotion however uncontrolled anger can lead to many things such has violence for one.

Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.
Proverbs 22:24-25 NLT

2. Whoever I marry must have no addictions. This one is a tough one to swallow. It seems nowadays everyone is addicted to something myself included.

Do not carouse with drunkards or feast with gluttons, for they are on their way to poverty, and too much sleep clothes them in rags.
Proverbs 23:20-21 NLT

2. Whoever I marry must have no bitterness.

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
Hebrews 12:15 NLT

3. Whoever I marry must not be selfish.

Greed causes fighting; trusting the Lord leads to prosperity.
Proverbs 28:25 NLT

Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out at common sense.
Proverbs 18:1 NLT

The #1 cause of conflict in marriage is selfishness.

4. Goes along with #3, Whoever I marry must not be greedy.

Greed brings grief to the whole family, but those who hate bribes will live.
Proverbs 15:27 NLT

Don’t eat with people who are stingy; don’t desire their delicacies.
Proverbs 23:6 NLT

5. Whoever I marry must be generous and kind.

Give freely and become more wealthy; be stingy and lose everything.
Proverbs 11:24 NLT

Your kindness will reward you, but your cruelty will destroy you. Give freely and become more wealthy; be stingy and lose everything.
Proverbs 11:17, 24 NLT

6. Whoever I marry must tell the truth!

The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them.
Proverbs 20:7 NLT

Yes this is a pretty tight list I know. God is still working on me with many of them. I did notice that not once did he reveal to me anything about appearance. Our cultural does teach the exact opposite.

The longer we date someone the more it’s going to hurt when we break up. God has provided in scripture what we should be looking for. It most certainly does not mean that if they match this list they are the one. This is just the minimum requirements that He wants us to find in the one we choose. If you want to get married or date, you need to get spiritually connected with God. Commit yourself to God’s standards. Don’t date until your own emotional hurts are healed or at least in the healing process. Marriage does not create problems it reveals them. Discover and clarify your purpose together and let God be the center.

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